Control

Control
By: Brendan Cadman

Either stalling midflight and crashing into a ravine,

or in charge of my surroundings and navigating the turbulence,

taking the scenic route back home,

avoiding the demons onboard that remain unseen.

The path laid out before my feet and my compass's arrow points due north,

the further I go the more I am confident in the direction I'm headed,

until that fork in the road of temptation makes itself known,

tripping over the unearthed roots of the mistakes to which I've become wedded.

Euphoria and bliss shower over me like summer rain,

but the distant rumble of thunder and blinding streaks in the sky,

bring with it the cover of ominous black clouds,

until the momentary and empty feelings of joy transform into pain.

The last time and never again is the oath that I make,

as the black clouds give way to golden rays bursting from the sun,

but the chill in the air raises the hair on my neck,

as a storm swells on the distant horizon until suddenly I'm back where I've begun.

The sting of calluses pulsate on cracked hands,

an undertaker's fresh grave dug with no body to feed, except for my own.

Lungs filling with water and gasping for air, 

my hand reaches out for a saving grace, only to realize I am alone.

Just as the icy ocean floor opens to swallow me whole,

a lifeline is tossed that pulls me from the depths and back into the world.

Faint as it may be I am now starting to see,

a light at the end of the tunnel leading me back home.

A journey not measured in steps, nor falling grains of hourglass sand,

but in moments of weakness and defiant resolve.

It's a perilous path filled with disorienting thickets and piercing thorns,

and though I'll stumble at times there remains the will to conquer it all.

My missteps won't define me, I'll determine my fate,

I'll brush off the dust of my past and bandage the bleeding cuts infecting my soul.

I'm no longer listening to the empty promises whispered in my ear,

it may be black and blue, but it's my hand on the wheel and I'm in control.